I mute adverts...

I mute the TV when adverts come on. I can't stand knowing that a small part of my life has been sold to a company so that they can tell me about the next big thing that I need to buy in order to live a more fulfilled existence. I struggle at cinemas too, where after paying £8.50 to watch a film, and £6 to eat popcorn and drink coke out of a cup so large that it has taken scientists years to develop a material light enough, so that when made into the gigantically sized container it can still be lifted by an average human. When you take your seat, you find that the screen is gently advertising local businesses ranging from the local petting zoo to the latest conference centre. Then the lights fade, the excitement builds, and the curtains around the screen somehow rearrange themselves in order to better frame the enjoyment ahead, and an image slowly takes to the screen. This will be the start of the adverts, after which the cinema will show it's captive audience a selection of films which you'll need to see this summer. The clever thing about cinemas advertising to you is that they're charging you for the privilege! Your time has been sold once to a washing up liquid company, and a second time to a cinema, who have passed the cost onto you! We're paying to watch advertising... with the sound turned up!

I mute the adverts on TV. Occasionally I forget, or cannot bring myself to expand the energy that it takes to reach the remote and press that magic button. A few days ago I failed to reach the remote, and found myself watching and listening to the adverts. One caught my eye, and I'll never forget it. A company called 'text your fate' or 'text your destiny' or 'text your cash' or something like that, were advertising a service where the customer texts their name along with their partner's name to a number, and they receive a text back which gives the sender a percentage figure to show how likely it is that there relationship will last... Just to make this clear; The customer only texts the names of both of the individuals in the relationship, and 'text your destiny' can quantify and put into a percentage the likelihood of the relationship lasting.... Is no other information needed? gender, age, health records, family history, police convictions???? What an incredible piece of science. I assume the same scientists that discovered the lightweight cinema cups also invented this 'text your love percentage' miracle machine.